Aging Parents; Navigating A Sometimes Rocky Landscape
Two and a half years ago we moved my mom (who has multiple sclerosis and can no longer care for herself) from Los Angeles to North Carolina.
We had never been close. Loving and warm was not her style. She was stoic, practical and matter-of-fact. I often wondered if she even liked me. I knew she loved me…but like me? Well, that was a stretch.
So, moving her fifteen minutes from my home and caring for her, her finances, her doctors’ appointments, etc. – was a massive adjustment.
And, interestingly, Jordan had a similar experience. Her mom has Alzheimer’s and was no longer able to care for herself so she moved in with Jordan (yea, her man, AKA Dave, is a total gem).
From the beginning, Jordan’s approach was, “This is here for me. Can I somehow at least be more open, less resistant…look for the growth, look for the benefits along the way instead of fighting and struggling my way through?”
I admit…that was not my approach :-). I first had to encounter my “shoulds,” my overwhelm, my frustration and my need for the approval of my family.
As I met myself in each of these moments, in each of these emotions, I began to learn how to be loving toward myself, how to create a kind and supportive relationship with myself and how to give myself the words I longed to hear from others.
As I healed my heart, my love for my mom bloomed and our relationship grew in a most remarkable way.
How do you help an elderly parent? Tune in to Episode 12 as we discuss how to address the negative voices in our head, how to release the resistance and struggle when navigating challenging relationships and how to be loving toward ourselves during difficult times.
From my heart to yours,